An appointment with my dietitian

This morning it was time for me to drive to the hospital in Amsterdam to meet with my dietitian. It was a group meeting, but since the group was divided in two parts for this meeting, there were only four of us. It was really good to see them though. I hardly recognized one of the women, because I didn’t see her since the beginning of May. Wow! She looked amazing.

Last time I saw the dietitian I wasn’t feeling very well. I was only two weeks post op and I could hardly eat back then. My hemoglobin levels were really low then and my face was as white as a sheet. She mentioned today that I have more color on my cheeks and that I look better. Things are good actually. I can eat five to six times a day without getting sick. I make sure that I am eating my proteins first. I avoid sugar when I can. I am taking my vitamins and I am most certainly trying to make healthy choices. It is a massive change of lifestyle already.

We have to come back to the hospital for group meetings at the end of October, so until then I am going to try to lose as much weight as I can. Especially because we will have a weigh-in that day. My goal was to hit -40 kilo before that day and I am not entirely sure if I can lose that much in the next six weeks. Still got about nine kilos to go before I make it to that goal. At least I know what I want and I will go for it. That’s for sure.

Confidence

Weight lost: 29,8 kilo (65,7 lbs)

This week I was waiting for the bus when my neighbor showed up at the bus stop. She told me that I looked great and that she could really see the weight loss. Suddenly she noticed my new hair cut as well. So we were talking for a while and then she told me what she liked best about my new look.

You have more self confidence, I can see it in your eyes!

I am still not used to getting all these compliments, but of course it is nice to hear that people notice the change. Even though I never thought of myself as a shy or insecure, my neighbor might be right. Deep down inside something has changed and I have noticed that I am not hiding away anymore. One could call that more confidence. I don’t consider myself a failure anymore. In the fall of 2013 I got my college diploma and I am searching for a job. I have had my surgery and I am losing weight. Even though that doesn’t change my personality, it does change my feeling of self worth. I feel like I am allowed to be a part of this world again.

World, here I come! Somehow I am not afraid anymore. The idea of a high school reunion doesn’t scare me anymore, as I have a story to tell. Tonight I have a meeting with a couple of old college classmates and I am actually looking forward to seeing them. Once again I am happy that I have made the decision to have my gastric bypass surgery. It means so much more to me than just losing weight. I am also getting my life back.

Trying to get back up

Weight lost: 28,8 kilo (63,5 lbs)

The weight loss isn’t that spectacular this week. I have only lost 0,4 kilo. Even though I have been to the gym a couple of times and we have been walking a lot in Switzerland. It might have something to do with gaining muscles and such, because I did get lots of compliments this week on looking good, but still it sucks that I can’t see it on the scale. For some reason it feels like it isn’t real when I can’t see it. I know better of course, but I still want to lose a lot of weight so it would be nice to see the scale drop.

Ever since I came back from Switzerland I have been tired and a bit down. I have no idea why (it could be because of the weight), but for some reason I am not in the mood to do anything at all. I don’t like that. So I have tried to find a way to feel better. I knew it would help to go out and meet people. So I chose to meet with a woman I have met because of my surgery. She lives in a town near Huib’s office, so he could pick me up again on his way home. For me it was just 45 minutes by train from Utrecht. Even though the weather was terrible, it was nice to see her. We ordered hot chocolate and sat down to talk for a while. It is nice to talk to people who have had the same surgery, because they know what I am going through at the moment. When Huib came, we went shopping for an hour (hello Primark!) and then we shared some food together. At least this day was different from all the others this week, which is a good thing. All I know I is that I am trying to feel better and I will get back up again!

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