One year surgiversary

Today it’s my one year surgiversary. One year ago, I was already in the recovering room, trying to wake up. It was quite a struggle and I ended up spending six days at the hospital in Beverwijk before I was allowed to go home. It wasn’t the best start and it took me months before I was able to eat all the food I was supposed to eat and take my supplements without nausea. Now that the first year has passed, I am happy that I have made this choice. I feel happier, healthier and much fitter.

One year surgiversary

One last look at these awful pictures that were taken when I was at the hospital. I was trying my best to be brave, but I felt awfully sick at the time. What followed was a year full of ups and downs.

  • First of all I have lost 95 lbs in the first 8 months;
  • I suffered from gallstones and they had to remove my gallbladder in December;
  • I have gained so much of my life back, with happiness and energy;
  • I got pregnant and we are expecting a baby boy. Still I managed to stay at the same weight since January.

one year later

These are the biggest things that happened during the last year. I have experienced so many non-scale victories during this year that I would need more than one blog post to mention all of them. I am just happy with where I am right now. I would love to lose more weight, but that would just be a bonus on top of everything else I have already achieved.

Health issues and exciting news

Weight lost: 41,6 kilo (91,7 lbs)

It has been quiet here for a while so it feels like it’s about time for an update. It has been a month since my gallbladder has been removed and I am glad that it’s gone. I don’t have to deal with that pain anymore which makes me feel much better. It doesn’t make me any healthier though, but I bet that my gallbladder removal has nothing to do with that. I need to share some things with you all, so here goes…

[rant mode]

The new year has started and I have got some exciting news to share. We are expecting a baby! Yes, I am pregnant after gastric bypass surgery. Nine weeks and five days to be exact. I know that it is a tiny bit to soon after my RNY gastric bypass, but we’re really happy about it. On January 5 I have had the first ultrasound and there was a tiny heartbeat. I was really scared, because having surgery while knowing you’re pregnant is not what you want.

Ever since I know I am pregnant, I haven’t been healthy. First I got a throat inflammation and now I have been dealing with the flu since Monday. On top of that I am super tired. I know deep in my heart that I wasn’t healthy when I was fat, but was I sick this often? I can’t remember. Maybe I was… I hope that I will feel better soon so that I can actually start enjoying the fact that I am pregnant without being worried all the time.

My weight loss is a whole different story. Before my gallbladder removal my weight had stalled for a couple of weeks and as soon as I was recovering, I lost 2,5 kilo. Not ideal, because they had told me not to lose any more weight during my pregnancy. Now I have lost another 2,5 kilo. I am not sure if they will come back, because that is what happens when you’ve got the flu right? You lose weight easily, but then it’s back before you know it. I feel kind of weak, so maybe gaining 1 or 2 kilo would not be such a bad thing. We shall see. I guess my body knows what’s best for her? I know I should have some confidence in my own body.

I started this blog last year to keep everyone updated on my weight loss journey and now I should not lose weight. I am not even sure how to do that, because it seems to happen all of a sudden. I mean, I am still sticking to the diet of course, even though I am trying to eat more carbs because the baby needs them. I guess I will just stick to what they tell me and we will see what will happen.

[/rant mode]

This will probably mean less blogs from me on this blog… But you are always welcome to read my English (book) blog or my Dutch blog if you want, for updates on the baby/pregnancy and the rest of my life!

Memories of my weightloss surgery

Yesterday I didn’t feel so well. For some reason my mind keeps going back to the day of my surgery sometimes. That was quite a day. I know that sometimes I can’t shut up about how I have spent almost a week in the hospital, but I am not sure if I am completely over that already. There were some tears in my eyes last night when I talked about the memories of my weightloss surgery.

The scariest part of all this was the anesthesia. I had no idea what to expect of that. I mean, yes, you fall ‘asleep’ rather quickly. That’s what they had told me and it was true. Nobody had warned me about the part where you wake up. It was nothing like waking up after a normal kind of sleep. I didn’t feel well. It was like a the nightmares I have sometimes where I can’t see much and can’t really move but I would like to scream. Only this time it was for real. I remember waking up several times. I saw a clock that kept speeding forward. There was a guy telling me to wake up and asking me if I was in any pain. He also told me I already got too many painkillers already when I asked for more. He said that I shouldn’t be in this much pain, which scared me as I know that I can handle pain very well normally. I remember feeling the blood pressure monitor on my arm a couple of times, thought I don’t remember if it was there all the time or if they would put it on again when it was time. I know that this lasted for a couple of hours before they finally got me back to the ward on the fifth floor.

I wasn’t awake when they brought me back to the ward. I don’t remember the ride on the elevator. I do however remember that my parents were there, waiting for me. That my mother was crying. Then in what felt like 5 minutes later (which is probably more like 2 hours later) my family and Huib came to see me during the visiting hour. I mostly just remember hearing their voices. That was comforting. I knew someone was there. Still I could not wake up properly. I must have said a few words, or smiled at them, but I am not sure. I do know from pictures they’ve taken that I wasn’t doing so well that night.

It took me many hours to wake up. When it was 11 pm I had to pee so bad. That was when I had the feeling that I was actually waking up. Guess what? At that point it was time for me to fall asleep. I couldn’t sleep that night as I was in so much pain. Yeah, that didn’t really help. I didn’t sleep the first three nights at the hospital even though I was tired. Apparently my body was under the impression that I had gotten enough sleep during the first day.

I really do hope that this will get better one day. That I can look back at this experience without being scared. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am really happy that I have done this for myself. Just the thought of ever having to go back to a hospital for another surgery scares me so much. Especially now with these gall bladder attacks or when someone asks me if I am thinking about getting the excess skin removed. It frightens me. I don’t want to think of this and yet I can’t seem to avoid it.

To the people who know me in real life, I would like to ask you to bear with me here. I know that it seems to be all I can talk about some days, but I can’t help it. I need to get this out of my system.

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